If “Blame Canada” is right, the answer must be “Invade Canada”!
Look, we’re about to shut down the world economy and toss all liberties and rights into the trash can for the benefit of the Global Warming Agenda, largely driven by the way Canada is so horridly hot and red in the GISS Maps.
The “hot” Arctic is easily explained as an artifact of how the baseline data were selected (see the Benchmarking The Baseline posting for more on that) as this graph of “baseline vs all-data” shows they picked a time of cold Arctic temps for the baseline:
So why “Invade Canada?” Well… In looking at the Canadian data from GHCN I’d found a lot of irregularities and things that just looked very wrong. Add in the “M” issue where dropped M for Minus in Metar records have some Canadian readings that ought to be Minus degrees turned into positive degrees… then I was looking at this article:
http://diggingintheclay.blogspot.com/2010/05/canada-5-warming-north-of-border.html (that you really ought to read) and saw this image:
It’s pretty darned clear that just over the border in Canada, they can not manage their thermometers correctly. I don’t think there is a giant wall of heat just over the border in Canada, kept out of the USA by fear of our chilly reception!
Now look, I’m not one to holler “Weapons of Mass Destruction” at the drop of a hat, but the Canadian heat is being used as a weapon to destroy economies all over the world! Heck, we’ve invaded lots of other countries for much smaller reasons before. Panama, just because some dictator was selling us low quality drugs, or charging too much, or wouldn’t let the CIA use the airports at the same time, or some such. Then that bunch of college kids at a medical school in Grenada (or Grenadine, or something that sounded like a fruit drink…) down near Jamaica. I wont even mention the misc. Middle Eastern countries we’ve invaded or intimidated into compliance (mostly because I can’t remember them all nor spell their names right. All the “icky-stans”… ) so the ‘hurdle’ is set pretty darned low.
So look, we just take over for a little while and put our thermometers up there. We wouldn’t need to change anything else. And the folks up there won’t mind. We could even give them free access to our medical system so they could get patched up before ours gets turned into something as slow as theirs. I’m sure they would be happy with the deal. Besides, they could all run down to Florida and get warm for a while and wouldn’t even need a passport. Heck, the Cubans and Haitians don’t need one and the Mexicans don’t bother either, so I’m sure the Canadians wouldn’t be bothered.
And our troops ought to be able to handle the initial assault on Canada without too many casualties, even if they are met with a hail of fiery “Pardon?” “Oh, sorry, would you like past?” “Eh? You need a place to stay? Sure, sure, no problem… hate to be a bother, but when do you take your tea?”
If they promised to run their thermometers right, we could even give the place back to them in a bit, once the crisis was over. And assuming, of course, that they wanted it back. I mean, once they’ve bought a condo in Florida (quite cheap at the moment, by the way) they might not want to take it back… but we can cross that bridge when we come to it. Most countries we invade get a few $Billion out of us. So with 33 million people, 33 billion would give $1000 each. I know it’s not much, but it might be enough to convince them to let us leave in a few years. Well, that, and letting them keep the condo in Miami for free…
It’s a hard choice, but something we MUST do to “save the planet”. So take a deep breath, and realize we simply have no other reasonable choice. Global Warming is destroying Canada; and through them the rest of the world, and we can fix it. Do it “For the Children”…
I’m sure it ought not to need it, but the world is a large place… full of all sorts. So if you didn’t catch it: This is a humor piece.