Millions of folks will have gotten one of these. I’d figured that, by now, I was not going to be one.
I was wrong.
It came in the mail today. From the Federal
Office Of Personnel Management. OPM.
Now you might think that having never worked for the Federal Government that I’d not be in their personnel database. You would be wrong. About 20? years ago I did a contract at The Federal Reserve Bank. (Yes, that Fed…) It required security screening. I was screened. So I’m in their database. Apparently forever.
Here’s what you get as a reward:
I’ve blurred my first names and erased my PIN. Don’t know what good it will do me to ‘sign up’ for whatever it is they are giving me. Didn’t see any “this releases our liability” notice on it, so I’ll likely do it.
Not much to say about it. “It is what it is. – Paul the Mercedes Mechanic”…
But for anyone not so endowed with such a letter, you can click on that one to embiggen it and take a look at what millions of your friends and enemies alike around the world have gotten.
Notice To Chinese Hackers
Or whoever did the hack…
I am presently unemployed and looking for a new “Gig”. There isn’t any need to be devious about things nor attempt to use “my” information against me. I don’t have much money to speak of, and I’m available for “reasonable rates”. I also don’t really care what I do so long as it isn’t criminal and I’m not doing evil. So pretty much any contract you want to throw at me “I’m good with that” anyway and no coercion is needed or expected. Basically, I’m a “computer money whore” available to the highest bidder anyway. All client secrets kept. Will travel as long as expenses are paid.
Medical, Dental, and 401k optional.
Well, looks like I’m in the pot of all those folks likely to be residing in some Chinese Government Database, perused and reviewed by their CIA equivalent. While I’m not expecting anything to come of it, since I’m really not all that interesting a ‘catch’ and my Fed involvement was decades back and indirectly through other employers, it does put an interesting “wrinkle” in my life.
Maybe they can use someone to proof read their threatening extortion letters and clean up the diction…
Or, since I’m fond of Linux and Kylin is based on BSD, maybe they would like to let a “Penetration Testing” contract to me to knock on their computer doors and see what I find. I’ve done that kind of thing on contracts before.
Or, I like travel and exotic foods along with lots of different languages. Maybe they would like me to tour various western nations (other than the USA) taking photos and writing opinions. I’d be good at that.
Oh well. I’m most likely just going to sit in some dusty corner of the Spy Agency Vault Records as “old retired guy – no interest, not usable”. But a fella can hope can’t he?
;-) of course…
Or: 1/2 Humor, maybe…
May I live in interesting times…
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