Incremental Green New Deal – A Modest Suggestion

Since so many are so enamored of “Saving The Planet” (though I wonder where or how… Under the bed? In a bank vault? Perhaps in a vat of formaldehyde as in biology class?) I would like to suggest an incremenral approach.

As True Believers are far more motivated than the rest of us, they need to demonstrate to us how to do it.

To that end, some preferred steps to incrementally “do it” while “educating” us come to mind. Please implement these steps one at a time. Once all are done, the path for the rest of us to follow will be clear.

1) ALL Private Jets owned by people or organizations involved in Saving The Planet are to be immediately sold. You ought not be burning fossil fuels anyway. Certainly not for just a couple of folks on a whole plane. Use the money to buy the farm from which your food will come.

2) For conventions and meetings in far off places, travel is to be by sail boat or horse and buggy. No, “carbon offsets” are not good enough. YOU need to show US how to live without “carbon”, remember? IFF a train powered ONLY and 100% by wind and solar, or wood / steam, is available, it can be used. (No, you can’t use grid power from coal, oil, nuclear, or gas and replace it later. That would still damage Gaia…)

2a) Use of wooden sailing ships and wood carriage trains is to be encouraged, and longer term, required, but initially some time will be needed to build them; so that step comes in a few years once you “make the market” for it.

3) All foods, beverages, whatever MUST be grown locally, without pesticide, artificial fertilizers, or water pumped by grid electricity or fossil fuels. All soil preparation done by hand or by animal teams (all of whom must be similarly fed, clothed, transported, and housed). All tools and implements used must be made without fossil fuels or electricity derived materials other than from wind, solar, and things grown on the farm. (I suggest planting some Hickory for tool handles). If unsure how to do this: proceed to book a one month “working internship” at the nearest Amish Farm.

4) Presentation will be done on chalk boards using hand formed natural chalk.

5) Since all electronic equipment is made using massive amounts of fossil fuels, plastics, and machine mining using fossil fuels, a megaphone (old conical style) is to be provided to each speaker. And handouts or recordings needed can be provided by trained scribes or Bards trained in the Druid Tradition for oral recitation of history. Paper or parchment supplied from your farm for your needs (sheep skin works best, btw). No cell phones either. Remember, you ARE saving the planet and setting an example for the rest of us. No sacrifice is too great.

6) Remember that you Must Not Trigger other attendees. To that end, all clothing must be of natural materials grown without fossil fuel use and hand sewn, tanned, or cobbled.

7) lighting can be by your choice of candles, oil lamps, or wind generator arc lamps. Sadly, since battery materials are mined and refined with massive fossil fuel use, they are to be shunned. Similarly solar cells and LED lamps are similarly Resource Offensive, but really, why make a solar powered light anyway? Don’t need it in the daytime and doesn’t work at night. Just hold your meetings in the daytime and it will be easier.

8) Modern venues are monuments of embodied fossil fuels. You just must not use them or it “sends the wrong message”. So meetings and events are to be held in a traditional Circus Tent made of cotton canvas (from your fossile fuel free farms, not the commercial stuff made with oil) and poles from natural trees logged by hand with horse teams. Shipped as needed by the same mode as your travel.

9) Note that since local water is undoubtedly pumped and heated by fossil fuels or nuclear power, plan to bring a natural oak cask of at least 5 gallons per day for your personal needs. And a sponge (not plastic, plant sourced please). Since open fires are likely discouraged (smog and all that, besides, chopping and carrying wood is hard work) plan on a “sponge bath” in cold water like my Mum did during W.W.II in Britain.

When all that is done, I will gladly attend your traveling circus show and applaud.

Lest you wish to complain that this is just not possible or humane, please note:

My Paternal Grandmother was Amish and Grandad ran the traditional smithy for the local Amish community. THEY lived without electricity, cars, airplanes, plastics, power tools, etc. THEY grew their own food, made their own tools, used natural canvas and wrote with chalk on slates in school. They arrived in this country by sailing ship and crossed it by steam train and horse & wagon.

I am not suggesting you do anything they have not already done.

My Father and I hand dug a well for water, grew our own food in the garden (though not all of it, he just wanted to assure I knew how), raised animals for meat, and my Mother made my clothes of cotton fabric on a foot powered “treadle” sewing machine (on which I learned to sew, too). I have made my own candles from about age 8 on, and used them. Same thing for making soap; it isn’t hard to do. I’ve ridden a horse many times and know how to hitch them to a plough or manure spreader (and yes, I’ve ridden on a traditional wooden manure spreader while in action.)

There is not a single thing on that list of steps my family has not lived. If is was good enough for us, surely it is good enough to save the planet.

Please start your transition now. I’m available for consultation. Just send your horse cart by and have “your man” pick me up…

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About E.M.Smith

A technical managerial sort interested in things from Stonehenge to computer science. My present "hot buttons' are the mythology of Climate Change and ancient metrology; but things change...
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25 Responses to Incremental Green New Deal – A Modest Suggestion

  1. Bill in Oz says:

    E M this is just wonderful
    Thanks for the sincere humour !

  2. philjourdan says:

    Also, all health care to cease immediately. Modern medicine, even pharmaceuticals.require a lot of energy to create and use (even education).

    That should save the planet from universal health care as well.

  3. H.R. says:

    E.M.: “4) Presentation will be done on chalk boards using hand formed natural chalk.”

    What?!? No PowerPoint at meetings, no emails, no texts?!?

    Well, they can always use an Amish laptop computer, so there’s that.

  4. E.M.Smith says:

    @H.R.: I’ve been thinking of getting a new laptop… is that the model with the slate built into the top so you can use it even when closed? Those new flex laptop tablets are just soooo cool!

  5. Taz says:

    Good one

  6. H.R. says:

    Slate built in the top… LOL!

    They can use kerosene power, doncha know. They have a wireless network. The Amish sit on the front porch and when they hit a key, their kerosene lantern flickers in Morse code. The next farm over picks it up and repeats the message, their lantern flickering, and so on until the message arrives at the correct farm.

    How else do you think the Amish Mafia communicates without being picked up by the TLAs?

    They also have their horses trained to leave long and short droppings on the road so they can pass along a message to the buggies behind them. To further confuse the TLAs, the droppings are in Biblical code. For example, you’d never guess what Isaiah 4:14 really means, but they all know.

    Things you never knew about the Amish….

  7. beththeserf says:

    So true, EM.
    Listen not ter what they say but look at what they do.

  8. Ossqss says:

    I just can’t stop my mouse, err finger on my tablet ;-)

  9. karabar says:

    Leonard Di Capitated should listen to this. Maybe Hollyrot could make a movie out of it.

  10. A C Osborn says:

    E M, one minor problem with your folks travelling across the US, they used an Iron Horse on iron rails, sorry not allowed if you are in true Planet Saving mode.
    I recently suggested on a forum that all those people supporting Climate Change that use modern items are hypocrites like the Sicily bunch.
    The response was “are you mad, do you want us to all live in caves”.
    So yes hypocrites, it is always up to someone else to “fix it” and not them.

  11. H.R. says:

    A C Osborn: “The response was “are you mad, do you want us to all live in caves”.
    So yes hypocrites, it is always up to someone else to “fix it” and not them.”

    That’s amazing, A C.

    But worse than hypocrites, they are stupid, and there’s no cure for stupid. It’s logic that most children could grasp by 2nd or 3rd grade: If you eliminate fossil fuels you are back to 18th century technology and with the size of todays population, which can’t be fed using 18th century technology, there will be a huge crash in population. Part of that population loss will be the people that keep today’s technology running. It’s a downward spiral from there where the only people surviving will be those skilled in 18th century technology.

    So, not hypocrites, but too stupid to see the truth behind things like E.M.’s humo(u)r.

  12. Gary says:

    E.M., this should be published in the LSM so the benighted general public can think about it. How you do that is a problem, but you’re clever enough to figure a way.

  13. H.R. says:

    @Gary – the LSM (Lame Stream Media)/YSM (Yellow Stream Media)/ Press Corpse is hardly a factor any more. The legacy media are dead men walking. The way to wide public dissemination is through social media and getting this modest proposal to go viral.

    My social media output is exactly zero, coincidentally the same as the number of my social media accounts, and I’m not atypical here. So getting this to go viral is problematic.

  14. E.M.Smith says:

    I hereby grant Copy Left Attribution Licence to anyone who wants to copy / reproduce / share the text of this article. You are free to do so, so long as it is attributed to me.

    May that help viralness ;-)


    Hmm…. yeah, erm… coal used to make steel and all that… Coking furnaces and all… Guess using any iron or steel is “right out” unless they make it using wood. Europe was basically denuded of trees to smelt ore in the early part of the iron age, before they figured out coal was better. So I suppose they could use iron as long as they don’t mind cutting down every tree on the planet to make it…

  15. Larry Ledwick says:

    Little known part of history, one of the reasons Britain wanted to keep control of America is they needed the timber from American and Canada because they had cut down the trees they needed for ship building and the industrial revolution (ie steel manufacture etc.)

  16. Larry Ledwick says:

    Interesting bit, looks like Australia has painted it self into a corner with its green virtue signaling.

  17. E.M.Smith says:

    @Larry L:

    I knew about the trees thing partly due to the family history of Smithng and the use of charcoal and coal as iron working fuels. Then ran into more formal articles that fleshed it out.

    Prior to coal, the iron Age and Industrial Revolution were very hard on European woods.

    Per Australian “Oil Reserves”:

    30 day supply. Want to use US reserves in an emergency?

    Our strategic reserves are in the Gulf Coast area. They are set up to travel by pipeline to US Oil Refineries. We have off shore UN-loading terminals that dump into the on-shore areas that drain into the pipes that fill the reserves.

    So how long does it take to turn an unloading system into a loading system?

    Add that time to the time it takes to find empty tankers, contract them, have them get TO the loading point. Then what’s the speed of a long slow ship journey around (your choice) the Cape Of Good Hope or Cape Horn? Then across either the entire Pacific Ocean or the Indian Ocean? (The Indian Ocean AFTER having crossed the Atlantic… The Pacific after having done the N. and S. Atlantic “long ways”…)

    Somehow I think that’s going to end up being more than 30 days. Heck, it can take 30 days just for The Government to respond to your statement of an Emergency…

    Now, just to add a tiny bit of spice:

    What happens if the “emergency” arises during the 1/2 of the year that is Hurricane Season in The Gulf? It can take a few weeks for a ‘cane off of Gulfport to finally decide where to go, during which time the oil terminals and offshore platforms are shut down.

    Finally: Exactly WHO’s Ships are going to do that oil transport? Are they Australian or US Flagged? What guarantee is there that they will be willing to do the hauling? What if the “emergency” is military conflict: Are they on your side? Will they sail without insurance? … Is the antagonist equipped with submarines? Aircraft or small gun boats? Rubber boats and suicidal crew looking for a quick trip to heaven? Very cheap robotic drones with explosives?

    The whole idea of an emergency strategic reserve is that it bypasses all those Real Physical Limitations on resupply.

    I’m presuming Australia will be building a new set of fuel loading and unloading facilities. No doubt to be named “Boon” and “Doggle”…

  18. Larry Ledwick says:

    Not to mention the Pacific Typhoon / Hurricane season. Then what if the emergency is due to a problem related to the pacific ocean (ie China has blockaded Australia, a tsunami has destroyed harbor facilities etc. Australia should look into establishing an Australian strategic oil reserve while they still have access. I’m sure our fracking well operators would be happy to sell them a few million bbls of oil at a good price.

  19. gallopingcamel says:

    Just revert to how things were in the 17th century. They did amazing things with wind, water wheels and horses back then.

  20. Bill in Oz says:

    EM Australia produces some of it crude oil ( 30% ) and all of the natural gas used here as is locally mined.
    Most of the crude oil we buy is sourced via Singapore. So probably from Indonesia, Malaysia or Brunei. The infrastructure for that already exists. So any ’30 day Reserve” is probably going to come from that part of the world.

    I think the USA 30 Day Reserve idea was some air head’s latest bright idea.

  21. David A says:

    Modest suggestion; rule 10.
    People produce CO2. Children are always somewhat rebellious against their parents, and so are likely to be heavy CO2 producers.
    If you have no children it is guaranteed that those non-children will have exactly zero carbon footprint.

    This rule 10 also carries a unique and amazing attribute, in short order it can fix stupid.

  22. beththeserf says:

    Back ter ye Dark Ages… Miri it is wile sumer ilast icoms.

  23. gallopingcamel says:

    Yesterday I stumbled on this gem by Patrick Moore who was one of the founders of Greenpeace.

    This video contains slides I have never seen before and ideas that I find persuasive. If you have 90 minutes to spare I think you will thank me for bringing this to your attention:

  24. gallopingcamel says:

    I loved Chaucer given that it was a real challenge to figure out what he was saying. Take this passage from the Nun’s Priest Tale for example:

    A col-fox, ful of sly iniquitee,
    That in the grove hadde woned yeres three,
    By heigh ymaginacioun forncast,
    The same nyght thurghout the hegges brast
    Into the yerd ther Chauntecleer the faire
    Was wont, and eek his wyves, to repaire;
    And in a bed of wortes stille he lay
    Til it was passed undren of the day,
    Waitynge his tyme on Chauntecleer to falle,
    As gladly doon thise homycides alle
    That in await liggen to mordre men.
    O false mordrour, lurkynge in thy den!

  25. beththeserf says:

    @ gllopingcamel. I like Chaucer’s Pardonner, professional trickster, preaching against avarice and selling official church pardons and false relics on the side. Plus ca change, plus meme chose. )

    ‘By this gaud have I wonnè, year by year
    A hundred marks since I was pardoner.
    I standè like a clerk in my pulpit,
    And when the lewèd people is down y-set
    I preachè so as you have heard before
    And tell a hundred falsè japès more.
    Then pain I me to stretchè forth the neck,
    And east and west upon the people I beck
    As does a dovè sitting on a barn.
    Myn handès and my tonge goon so yern
    That it is joye to see my busyness.
    Of avaryce and of swich cursedness
    Is all my preching, for to make them free
    To yeven their pence, and namely unto me.
    For myn entente is not but for to winne,
    And nothing for correccïoun of sinne;
    I reckè nevere, whan that they be buried,
    Though that hir soulès goon a blackè berried! ‘

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