Dear Russia,
The USA Left Wing Dominated Media (i.e. all of it pretty much) is rabidly asserting you have caused Trump to be elected. At the moment, I’m watching MSNBC and they are fervently shouting that it is all a lie that no Americans were involved (knowingly) and that it was all Russia doing take downs on anyone opposed to trump (including Republicans like Ted Cruz and Bush (Jeb? the third one anyway…)) not just pointing out all the faults in Hillary. That it is all YOUR doing and all YOUR fault that happened.
IF that is true:
We, Americans, owe you a great big hearty “Thank You!”.
Per the Democrats and the Yellow Stream Media: you (Russia) have single handedly prevented the corruption of the Clinton Machine from being in the Oval Office as POTUS, kept the rabid Socialist Bernie Sanders from imposing the USSA on us, prevented the RHINOs from being “do nothing” tokens while the Progressives ram their agenda home, and kept the Well Connected Republicrim Kleptocrats out of office along with preventing the Bush Dynasty Intel Agency Pick from having another round.
I can think of no better outcome for the citizens of the USA. Honestly.
If, in fact, you did that: Please, any time you like, show up at my door, show your credentials (what is is now, FSB? I’m sure you can figure out where I live and what credential to show in any case…) and I’ll buy you the drink of your choice at the place of your choice. (All you need to do is get me to that place). Tequila shooters in Mazatlan. Frozen Stolichnaya shots with beer back. Single Malt Scotch at Disney World Animal Kingdom (one of my favorites ;-). Whatever you like. Even $100 / bottle wine in Napa. I owe you, and I don’t forget. Thanks, buddy.
Musings from the Chiefio 
although i realise youre joking, the truth is that the left is horrified that russia may have robbed them of their autonomy to select their own leader.
the truth is also that the left wanted to use that autonomy to put in people that would take away the autonomy they didnt want people to have. so perhaps the russians are more liberal than the democrats. why worry? they all love karl marx (whats the problem? everyone should be happy.)
the rest of the truth is that the russians manipulated social media. so lets be totally clear for everyone at home:
people give up their autonomy to facebook– and thats ok, because no one is going to blame facebook.
people give up their autonomy to the democratic party– and thats ok, because the point of autonomy is to give it up to the democratic party so they can tell everyone the right thing to do.
but the dirty russians manipulated facebook, during an election– and thats not right because (since facebook is the sacred keeper of all election-related sentiments) we should be protecting facebook from any non-american influences manipulating the way that facebook manipulates people.
yeah! when i put it that way, im pretty outraged too. and now im going straight to facebook so someone can explain it to me better!
@Codeinfig:
Well, hopefully I’ve hit that wonderfully British “1/2 joking” point where it is hard to tell what’s the humor and what’s serious…
FWIW, I’m quite serious about buying a pint for any FSB (or related) agent who flashes an ID. I’d not report it to anyone either. I’d just enjoy the time spent talking with a guy in a unique job with a unique perspective on the world. Rather like when I worked with the Mossad guy. Great guy. Great stories. Never spilled it to anyone what his name is. (He’s retired anyway, but there’s always a risk of ‘revenge’, so important to keep things private to yourself.) Or the Cray Tech who worked in certain government locations that shall remain nameless. His description of the “strip and walk the inspection corridor” was interesting to say the least. Nothing in, or out, but your body. (And it was likely X-rayed)
It’s a world I almost joined (CIA application filled out and in hand) but didn’t quite. In some ways much of my adolescence was spent self-teaching “spy craft”. I was a big Bond fan 8-) So learned some martial arts, how to make explosives out of common stuff, how to make poison gas out of common stuff, how to do various encryption and one-off-pad communications. Etc. etc. I like to think I’d have been good at it. But I chose a different path. Oh Well. A bit old now to cry over missed adventures.
Yes, I do find it hilarious that the Dims are howling like monkeys over the fact someone has used their social media platforms against them. Guess they never studied Aikido ;-)
I do sometimes wonder what Putin’s actual orientation and goals are. He was influenced by his Mother to have a religious streak. Is it real or is it for effect? He dominates Russian politics, but is generally doing good things for Russia. Is that just cover for enrichment of self and friends, or necessary to keep the USA from turning Russia into another Brazil? Hard to say… It would be interesting to have a long private talk with the man; but that’s never going to happen (and if it did, the odds of him actually being open with some random from the USA is less than Nil.)
I have a fascination with Russia that started way back in the B&W era with Secret Agent shows on TV. I tried to learn the language, but stumbled on the whole different alphabet thing. I can still pick out some words (like “PROTON” on the side of the rockets), but that’s about it. So near to being European, yet so also not and more Asian in the closed character. Where the Red Head Gene began (so I have some ancestral root reaching back there as mammoth hunters 12,000 years+ ago) yet where millions have died for not accepting (fast enough?) the domination of Dear Leader. (Of many political bents.)
Oh Well…
IMHO, the best humor has the bite of truth under it, and the bite of sarcasm over it, and ‘bent for effect’ in the middle. So the Democrats are trying to drum up a whole lot of pissed-ness over” The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming! They corrupted the elections!!!” (Since Hillary didn’t win) Yet I find that funny. Precisely because IF the Russian DID do that, it’s a feature not an outrage(!) so their whole rant is silly. Thus my asking them to “Please, do it again!!!” ;-)
Bite (Russians did it) bent (I like that! – It’s a feature!) and then Bite again (Let me buy you a beer and thank you!).
Well, having most likely killed the humor by the lethal expedient of explaining it, maybe I’ll shut up now ;-)
code in fig ,
I do. http://spacetimepro.blogspot.com/2014/12/fish-forth-v15-lpc1115-stm32f4xx.html
The Russians are not as stupid as the left of this country. I am sure you are going to be taken up on your offer. Hell, who does not want a free drink?
But they are laughing just as you are. They are achieving their goals without spending an additional Ruble. As you noted previously, every country tries to influence every other country’s elections. SO the latest Mueller revelation is a big DUH. However for a few dollars, Russia has gotten the YSM tied up in knots, half the country looking under their bed for the KGB/FSB (they should keep it the KGB – more mileage that way), and the other half laughing their a$$ off.
All the while they sip their vodka (wodka according to Chekov), and actually going about influencing nations to their sphere of influence.
The best spy is the one that does not exist. If you get your enemy to chase its tail looking for that which does not exist, you have accomplished your goal.
In terms of time spent studying languages, for me, it goes English then French then Russian then Latin then Spanish then Greek, with a smattering of German and Italian [yes, I have a bit of the philologist in me]. Russian is a a lovely language with some elements borrowed from Latin via French and Hebrew via Greek. The tough part for me was the declensions, since English dropped its declensions, maybe due to confusion derived from Germanic dialects and Norse dialects.
Mine was Spanish then French (both to about the whole language, though the French kind of overwrote much of my Spanish as they are too close), then a single German and Russian class and some self taught half dozen others (from Italian and Portuguese to Japanese and Gaelic). Most of the self taught being only to the point of reading a few basic sentences and a general understanding of how the language functions. Some, like Japanese, being used in contexts (Karate class and dinners plus enough for one Japan business trip). The Italian was a cram course on a flight to Europe. Just play the “Getting by in Italian” tape over and over with the book in front of me and when off the plane, could tell the cab where to go and order dinner.
@PhilJourdan:
I watch the Russians and they just make the Americans look stupid and inept. Unfocused and scattered. Russians are chess masters and we are playing pong…
It would be fun to have “dinner and a drink” with a real agent and just have dinner talk. Especially if a Natasha sort ;-) But I’m not going to expect it. I’m just not important enough. Besides, I’ll likely get someone from some other TLA assigned to watch who shows up (for the next year? or so?) meaning it would be a bit dumb to show up (unless they wanted to pick up a tail to out them… )
Part of why I didn’t turn in my application to the TLAs. Didn’t want to spend the majority of my life thinking 3 levels deep into inversions of logic and “Spy vs. Spy” intrigues. I’m more of an “up front” kind of guy. (I can do deception, but just don’t see the need for it most of the time. Nor the preference.)
“Reds Under The Bed”
Mueller’s indictment of thirteen Russians for pathetically incompetent meddling in our elections is farcical. The total Facebook “Buy” is listed at between $46,000 and $100,000 with money spent in states like California.
MULER (he is as dumb as a mule) is digging a huge hole for the Democrats by being blind to the real Russian collusion in the form of $12,000,000 paid for the phony “Dossier”. He is also blind to Uranium One and the over $100 million “Pay to Play” in favor of the Clinton Crime Family. He can’t look into that because he knew about it and looked the other way.
These scandals are bubbling nicely with major eruptions likely before the 2016 mid-term elections.
GC
“These scandals are bubbling nicely with major eruptions likely before the 2016 mid-term elections.”
Presumably 2018?
@Another Ian: