Friends Of Australia Christmas Friday Loin Chops & Lil’Penguin

It’s once again an Australia Time Friday! It’s FRIDAY!!!!

BUT, this time It’s Christmas! Merry Christmas!

We again had Thomas Farms Loin Chops (mini-T-Bone) in the cast iron skillet in the oven. This time I tried at 350 F for about 30 minutes. Just a little red inside and some red juice, go for 35 if you like pink. Very nice this time.

Sides were just Bag-o-Salad (butter lettuce, cheese shreds, Ranch Dressing), and simple sweet peas.

Tomorrow will be Christmas Day for me, so then it will be Roast Turkey, Stuffing, and more. So tonight didn’t get too involved in a complicated cook.

Wine? I’m working off my stock of Little Penguin Shiraz Cabernet blend. It is just a wonderfully fully flavored rich fruit wine. Only one left now :-{

But having done a blending experiment last week, I know know how to recreate something close if I want it. (AND, I know where to get a properly ambitious Australian Shiraz for the blending ;-)

In Other News:

It looks like the U.K. is really going to finally break away from the iron grip of the EU and be able to do Global Free Trade again. I think this bodes very well for Australia!

As I recall it, when the UK entered the European Economic Zone (before the EU trap was sprung on it…) they imported a LOT of Australian Lamb and Wine. I suspect they will now do so again. Here’s hoping that in 2021 a ravenous hoard of Brits descend on Australia Exporters with orders for Leg-O-Lamb & Claret! (You can teach them later about Shiraz ;-) Until they catch on, keep sending it to the USA, OK? Please?)

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About E.M.Smith

A technical managerial sort interested in things from Stonehenge to computer science. My present "hot buttons' are the mythology of Climate Change and ancient metrology; but things change...
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25 Responses to Friends Of Australia Christmas Friday Loin Chops & Lil’Penguin

  1. Gail Combs says:

    Again Merry Christmas To ALL.

    I just spent a bit of time looking at video of Bobby Piton in response to this tweet.

    Susan St. James
    @SusanStJames3_
    Chartered financial analyst Bobby Piton is headed to California to prove more than a dozen Democrats won House seats because of fraud. Yes, Trump flipped the House and Piton intends to prove it.
    9:18 PM · Dec 24, 2020
    *https://twitter.com/SusanStJames3_/status/1342293690891575297

    This has the video of his testimony in Arizona but I found it a bit hard to follow since the charts were not shown.
    Chartered Financial Analyst, Robert Piton, Testifies On Voter Record Data Anomalies In Phoenix, Arizona Hearing; Says “Biggest Fraud In History”

    Mike Adams who is trained as a scientist had the best interview of the bunch of video I looked at since he asked good questions.
    Bobby Piton reveals PHANTOM voters, “zombie” voters and how Dems have rigged nearly every election for decades

    More info from Bobby midway down on this PDF
    *https://www.preactiveinvestments.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/AZ-Findings-Piton-Findings-with-Harris-Confirmation.pdf
    Go midway down the PDF to the phrase Write Up: Absolutely breathtaking systematic Fraud…

    This is not at all surprising since the Democrats had three decades of freedom to do voter fraud without challenge because of 1982 Consent Decree. SEE:
    *https://www.investmentwatchblog.com/end-of-1982-consent-decree-gop-finally-can-contest-vote-fraud-after-36-years/

    Anyway Bobby is now asking for VOLUNTEERS to do the data gathering for EACH STATE. This means we can FINALLY HELP in a VERY REAL WAY!

    My fellow Americans that want to help. I will outline more in the AM but this is what I am requesting first. I will need to identify a minimum of 313 people to assist me across all 50 States in gathering data files. I know how we can get them, I need Constitutional #MilitiaMen and #MilitiaWomen to help contact the individuals that identify that are co-patriots. Please respond in one of the 10 spots below which county, state you are from and if you are available to help over the next 13 days.

    Thread is HERE (take out the * at the beginning of the URL.)
    *https://twitter.com/BobbyPiton3/status/1342381773762736128

  2. billinoz says:

    Yes Brexit will make it easier for Australia to export dairy foods, fresh fruits, and meat to the UK. All these used to be major exports to old Blighty until 1973 when the UK joined the Common Market and then major tariffs were levied on any agricultural produce from Australia to protect European farmers from Australian competition… Hummmm ?

    Meanwhile Xmas day has been & gone for us. I ponder the sudden religious upswell that comes each year about this time.. As a sceptic I am more of the opinion that it is just another form of ‘salvationism’.-.We will be saved if we do this or that…

    Of course there is the other religious cult that says if we do not emit CO2 we will be saved… Much the same really.

  3. Nancy & John Hultquist says:

    “Sudden religious upswell . . . ”

    There is a review of a book titled “Wild Minds” in the Wall Street Journal (Dec. 19-20):
    By Reid Mitenbuler, Atlantic Monthly, 411 pages, $28.
    Reviewed by John Canemaker.

    The book is about animation history – from serious cartoons to stuff for young children. The change was rapid in the 1950s when TVs became baby sitters and a place to advertise via kids to parents.
    Also, see this:
    Coca-Cola and Santa

    Coca-Cola Santa became an animated TV commercial in 2001. Tony The Tiger on TV was earlier.

    Perhaps the cartoons, animation, and advertising has much to do with the religious up swell because without Christianity there is no baby Jesus, and Saint Nicholas, and a Santa Claus with all that now pushes gifts – Ra Ra Rebel Cheerleader to Game Boy to . . .
    {No kids here, so don’t know what they want.]
    Whether a person (or family) believes the stories of Christianity or not, that seems to be unhinged from the commercialization.

  4. Tonyb says:

    There is plenty of excellent WELSH lamb , not that I eat it, being a lifelong vegetarian. Australian wine has always been imported, there are seven varieties of it in my small local supermarket and one of the bottlesv is in my fridge for boxing day dinner.

    I do look out for Australian items but bearing in mind they get so much of their own stuff from China it’s perhaps not surprising that we don’t see too many of their goods over here.

    Hopefully that will change and now we are free of the EU the five eyes and other relationships amongst Anglo COUNTRIES will thrive

  5. Nancy & John Hultquist says:

    Tony,
    I’m pleased to see y’all stepping out of the EU. Congratualations.
    _ _ _ _ _
    There is a book by H. Warner Allen — “A History of Wine” – 1961, Faber
    It is educational and entertaining, explaining the long connections of England
    with the Continent’s wine growers and elites. It is much easier, having read the
    book, to understand London as the wine center and home to The Institute of Masters of Wine.

    Best to you and all others over there {from Washington State}
    John

  6. tonyb says:

    Nancy and John

    Many of our wine connections stem from wars and owning possessions in Europe, as well as a better climate in the MWP that enabled us to grow decent wine.

    I feel as if we have been fighting a war for the last 25 years to extricate ourselves from the Eu- that we never voted for- as it transitioned from the EEC that we did vote for. So its only taken four and half years from the leave decision the elite have been howling about ever since and trying to reverse

    A short skirmish compared to the 150 year battle before we finally managed to extricate our self from the church of Rome.

    tonyb

  7. V.P. Elect Smith says:

    @TonyB:

    Aye, but now that Australian Wine and Lamb, being free of EU barriers, ought to be cheaper and more plentiful that before Brexit…

    So drink up, me heartys! Yo Ho! Send more ships and load ’em up!

    I’m presuming that the Welsh lamb isn’t quite enough to satisfy all of the UK demand… but if it does, well, send the lamb to us over here in “Beef Country” USA ;-)

    (As I’ve found beef increases my arthritic discomfort, more lamb has become rather important to me ;-) No creakies from lamb for me.)

  8. billinoz says:

    It may take a while before supplies of Australian lamb ( and mutton ) reach your shores in the UK.
    Why ?
    Well the Australian sheep industry is a lot smaller than it was in 1973 when the Uk joined the EEC. There were about 170 million sheep here in Oz then. Now around 70 million. Traditionally the lamb meat industry was a ‘by product’ of the merino fine wool industry with lots of wool growers using meat type rams on their merino ewes for the cross bred meat lamb market. And we are talking about farms with large flocks say 12,000 to 20,000 sheep . on large free ranged farms. The Welsh sheep & lamb farms are far smaller and have much higher costs due to the colder Winters and the need to hand feed live stock then.

    But nowadays the wool industry is a lot lot smaller than it used to be because so many people do not wear wool tops, jumpers, suits. Instead they are wearing polyester based clothes made in China , Vietnam etc. Still if the demand is there, Aussie farmers will try to supply it. And EM, Thomas Foods who supply your lamb chops, are now building a new huge meat processing plant at Murray Bridge in SA with an estimated work force of 1000 people.

    By the way when the UK joined the EEC Australian fruit and dairy farmers, as well as lamb & beef growers were locked out of the UK due to EEC’s Common Agricultural policy. Tasmania used to be named the Apple Isle for it’s huge apple orchards. And industry which was focussed on supplying the UK from the 1890’s. Those orchards are long gone as Tasmanian farmers diversified into growing other crops in the 1970’s.

  9. Another Ian says:

    E.M.

    Have you been on a club recruitment drive?

    “US SECSTATE Mike Pompeo sticks it to China – Praise The Lord and pass the Australian wine!”

    https://www.michaelsmithnews.com/2020/12/us-secstate-mike-pompeo-sticks-it-to-china-praise-the-lord-and-pass-the-australian-wine.html

  10. V.P. Elect Smith says:

    @Another Ian:

    Why, yes, I have! Didn’t realize my own reach though! Apparently…

    ;-)

  11. President Elect H.R. says:

    Wine is another fungible commodity… sorta.

    Everyone knows and has had the local swill, be it wine or beer or ale or distilled spirits, since forever. The local swill is like Mom’s meatloaf. Like comfort food, it is the comfort drink and everything else is compared to it.

    But, there are always the explorers and adventurers among us who want to know what is over the next mountain and down in the following valley. The same holds true for food and drink. In general, you can’t get haute cuisine in Mom’s kitchen and you can’t grow fine wine grapes in the North and you can’t readily master the distilling and aging skills of the Highlands or the hollows of Tennessee, and so on, thus the local swill specialties.

    Given the opportunity, most people really enjoy drinking something from far away and outside of their experience. And if it’s similar, naturally it will always be compared to the local swill. If it’s not as good, the locals take pride in their product, and if it’s really good, then they look to learn the secrets and improve their product. It’s all good as everyone improves.

    Throw in the economics; you make enough for yourself and some extra to sell for income, and if you can really get it going, enough to export.

    So we have some in France who will buy some California wine and some Californians who will buy French and Australian and German wines and so on. If China isn’t buying, someone else will. Wine is fungible… sorta.

  12. pinroot says:

    I haven’t had time to watch this (I just saw it and it’s an hour ten minutes long), but it looks interesting. Ukraine releases bombshell information on Biden today. With English subtitles.

    Could a foreign country indict Biden on charges of corruption? What would that do to his swearing in on 1/20/21 (assuming it actually happens)? Would Harris become president in such a case? Interesting times, to be sure.

  13. President Elect H.R. says:

    The problem is, pinroot, that the YSM won’t report so much as a comma, period, or semicolon from the Ukraine release.

    And when the word finally squeaks out, and it will, the Fan Belt Inspectors will report that Biden had no intent to get any money from Ukraine to influence him and besides, no reasonable prosecutor from the DOJ would take on such a vague, rumor-based case so we won’t even bother the DOJ in the first place.

    That’s the way it played out with Hillary and Comey and McCabe and Sally Yates and, and, and…

    That’s the way the Swamp rolls. SPIT!!

  14. V.P. Elect Smith says:

    @Pinroot:

    Until and unless impeached, Biden would still be sworn in. Then he’d be under Diplomatic and SS protection… Probably would not want to visit Ukraine again, though…

    Any effort at extradition prior to swearing in would be delayed by various legal maneuvers until after the swearing in.

    But yes, it would be ‘interesting’ to watch ;-)

    @P.E. H.R.:

    There’s also an interesting effect from the physical location.

    2 examples:

    1) Shiraz grapes are known for their tendency to change flavor and strength based on local dirt and climate. (Some other grapes are less sensitive, but still change). So the actual location grown does matter to the flavor of the wine. So far, my experience of California Shiraz (limited though it may be) is that it is less saturated with flavor when compared to the Australian Shiraz. Color is almost as good, and alcohol level about the same, so the grapes are maturing equally. But something in Australia is making the grapes “punch up their game” in the flavor department. Not tannins (i.e. not just how long you leave in stems and seeds and such, or skins) but the actual flavor molecules of the grapes.

    2) Whiskey vs Whisky. The amount of mineralization of the water matters a lot. Why is so much Whiskey made in the Appalachian Mountains? The water there has the right mineralization for it. (Now we can adjust that chemically and with precision, but back then, location was key. When the Scots and Irish ran to the hills in the Whiskey Rebellion, they found waters that they liked too ;-) Then, in the aging process, temperature and humidity matters a great deal. This was key to why Scotland could make such great whisky. Just the right temperature ranges and humidities to age best while not losing too much to cask evaporation. It is also part of why Islay and Island malts are different from Highland or Speyside (or even Lowland) malts. I’ve never had a Campbeltown malt so can’t speak to it. From the different way the fires burned in smoking the malt (damper smokier) to how it aged in the barrel. (Again, things we can now control anywhere if enough equipment is bought…)

    So historically, the “local swill” was subject to local conditions changing the character. Probably why Iowa is not the center of Bourbon Development… TOO hot by far in summer, and way too cold in winter. Likely not enough oak for barrels either ;-) America grew maize corn, so developed Bourbon. Scots grew barley, so Single Malt it was. (Japan had lots of rice, so Saki ;-) Hard to grow rice in Scotland.)

    To some extent, modern machinery and shipping make it possible to make any style in any place. But some things still matter. Basically it’s a whole lot of work to get some bits “just right” when nature provides it free somewhere else:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotch_whisky

    Islay /ˈaɪlə/: has nine producing distilleries:[76] Ardbeg, Ardnahoe (the most recent), Bowmore (the oldest, having opened in 1779), Bruichladdich, Bunnahabhain, Caol Ila, Kilchoman, Lagavulin, and Laphroaig. Region Characteristics: distilleries in the south make whisky which is “medium-bodied … saturated with peat-smoke, brine and iodine” because they use malt that is heavy with peat as well as peaty water. Whisky from the northern area is milder because it is made using spring water for a “lighter flavoured, mossy (rather than peaty), with some seaweed, some nuts…” characteristic. The national tourist board website says that the single malts from Islay vary by distillery, from “robust and smoky” to “lighter and sweeter”

    So a lot of work could likely be done to find out what chemicals make “peaty water” and how much sea spray is needed to get the right iodine level… or just make it on an island with lots of sea spray and peat…

    Flavour and aroma

    Dozens of compounds contribute to Scotch whisky flavour and aroma characteristics, including volatile alcohol congeners (also called higher oils) formed during fermentation, such as acetaldehyde, methanol, ethyl acetate, n-propanol, and isobutanol. Other flavour and aroma compounds include vanillic acid, syringic acid, vanillin, syringaldehyde, furfural, phenyl ethanol, and acetic acid. One analysis established 13 distinct flavour characteristics dependent on individual compounds, including sour, sweet, grainy, and floral as major flavour perceptions.

    Some distilleries use a peat fire to dry the barley for some of their products before grinding it and making the mash. Peat smoke contributes phenolic compounds, such as guaiacol, that give aromas similar to smoke. The Maillard browning process of the residual sugars in the mashing process, particularly through formation of 2-furanmethanol and pyrazines imparting nutty or cereal characteristics, contributes to the baked bread notes in the flavour and aroma profile. Maturation during multi-year casking from reusing sherry oak barrels originally used for bourbon whiskey production contributes a vanilla aroma to some premium Scotch whiskies.

    So even the presence of a local supply of previously used barrels can change the flavor (be it from Sherry or Bourbon…) along with the nature of the local oak (American vs French vs.. or as with some beer, “beech wood”…)

    Also I’d note in passing that shipping damp peat to Iowa to make “Scotch Like” whiskey would likely present some economic and technical issues…. Not a lot of peat bogs in Iowa… (too many people in too much of a hurry to drain swamps, I guess ;-)

    Screening for potential adulteration

    Refilling and fabrication or tampering of branded Scotch whiskies are types of Scotch whisky adulteration that diminishes brand integrity, consumer confidence, and profitability in the Scotch industry. Deviation from normal concentrations of major constituents, such as alcohol congeners, provides a precise, quantitative method for determining authenticity of Scotch whiskies. Over 100 compounds can be detected during counterfeit analysis, including phenolics and terpenes which may vary in concentration by different geographic origins, the barley used in the fermentation mash, or the oak cask used during ageing. Typical high-throughput instruments used in counterfeit detection are liquid chromatography and mass spectrometry.

    What is detected in counterfeiting can also to some extent be detected by the senses.

    I suppose the short form of all this is just “location matters”. A Lot sometimes.

  15. cdquarles says:

    Constituents, location (which affects constituents) and processes. Even simple things like cooking involve very complex chemistry, for which much understanding isn’t needed to get good results (or poor ones ;p).

  16. pinroot says:

    @PE HR – Sadly, I’m afraid you’re right. After I posted the video here, I was reading elsewhere and it was pointed out that this video has been around a month or more, so basically if the MSM doesn’t report on it, it didn’t happen as far as the general population goes. And we know the MSM won’t report on it.

    @EM – I can’t speak to scotch or wine, but as far as pizza goes: My dad (who grew up in the Bronx and later moved to southeastern NC) met a guy who had moved from Brooklyn to the area to open a pizza joint. Dad said the guy was spending lots of time trying to get his pizzas to taste like they did when he made them back in NY. He was using all the same ingredients, same brands, etc., but they didn’t taste the same. He eventually realized it was the water. Even Wikipedia mentions the water as one of the things creating the NY style pizza’s characteristic taste and texture. We also have a lot of breweries in the area, and most of them have made a considerable investment in water treatment to get consistent flavors in their brews.

  17. billinoz says:

    After the UK joined the EEC in 1973 and locked out agricultural products like apples and pears, Tasmanians diversified. And some got into whiskey distilling. And just for the fun of a plug here is an example – The MacHenry family distillery on the Tasman peninsular of Tasmania. The southern most distillery on the planet !

    https://mchenrydistillery.com.au/about/

  18. President Elect H.R. says:

    I’m not so sure you can’t grow rice in Scotland. Wasn’t it a Scot who invented chopsticks? The Welsh might put up an argument, but I’m sure it was a Scot.
    😜

    (These are little known facts of science. They’re so little known ’cause I make them up.)

  19. V.P. Elect Smith says:

    @BillInOz:

    I’ve been on the hunt for Australian Whisky, but so far, no joy.

    Need to start shipping more of it to California!

    I can get American, Canadian, Scots, Irish, hell, even Japanese Whiskey & Whisky… but no Australian. What’s up with that, eh? Keeping it all to yourself, are you? Not willing to share it around?

    Grumble…

    8-) of course ;-)

  20. Graeme No.3 says:

    @EMS
    A lot of australian shiraz grapes are from old vines esp. in the Barossa valley where phylloxera hasn’t reached. The older the vines the more concentrated is the wine (and the price).
    Classified in the Barossa as Old vines (older than 35 years), Survivor vines (older than 70 years), Centurion and Ancestor (vines older than 125 years). Some other areas use Old Vines as a sales point but Barossa Survivor types are about $50 (US) a bottle, a bit out of your (and mine) price range.
    And a friendly tip: watch out for Sparkling Shiraz. Supposedly developed when Dame Nelly Melba (the opera singer) retired to Australia and told winemakers that the “big thing” in Paris was sparkling burgundy. This was because (pinot noir) Burgundy wine wasn’t selling but the Oz winemakers used shiraz which they had available. It is a local ‘speciality’ and has diversified, you can now buy sparkling cabernet and sparkling durif along with blends. Usually they are stronger in alcohol (14-15%) than other sorts of sparkling wine and are occasionally sweetened by ruby style port.

  21. I just ran across this, it’s supposed to be part of Sydney Powell’s binder of evidence of fraud in the election. I don’t know how to post a link to a pdf without it showing the pdf, so here it is:

    https://wpcdn.zenger.news/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/24190822/2020-12-23-Sidney-Powell-Team-Binder-ZENGER-NEWS.pdf

  22. V.P. Elect Smith says:

    You can type a ‘wrapper’ of HTML around the link text, or just abut a special character like an “*” to the front of the html marker, thus ‘breaking’ it as an active link so folks need to ‘cut / paste’ to get to the document.

    So:

    <a href=”https://wpcdn.zenger.news/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/24190822/2020-12-23-Sidney-Powell-Team-Binder-ZENGER-NEWS.pdf” target=”_blank”>https://wpcdn.zenger.news/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/24190822/2020-12-23-Sidney-Powell-Team-Binder-ZENGER-NEWS.pdf </a>

    Note that the “target=”_blank” is optional. It just forces the link to open in a new tab instead of overlaying the present one.

    or:

    *https://wpcdn.zenger.news/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/24190822/2020-12-23-Sidney-Powell-Team-Binder-ZENGER-NEWS.pdf

  23. billinoz says:

    @Graeme, I’ve tried the bubbly shiraz a few times. But it never hit my taste buds.

    @EM : There are 294 distilleries in Australia making a range of brandies, gin, vodka, rum and whiskey. And for the dedicated whiskey aficinados here is a link to a list of the whiskey distillers.
    https://thewhiskylist.com.au/hub

    :-)

  24. H.R. says:

    Okay. At the moment, this is the only thread that hits on food until E.M. gets around to a Friends of Australia posting next Friday.

    The Mrs. and I were checking out a sports bar to watch the College Football Championship on Monday, the 11th.

    We stopped in a place (small chain of restaurants) called Glory Days Grill, yesterday, Friday the 8th.

    Om their menu is Stella Artois beer battered fish (haddock) and chips of a sort (waffle fries). A half-order is $13.99 and a full order is $19.99.

    BUT… they have Fish Fry Friday where the half-order is $9.99. So we each had the half order.

    OMG!! The half order was a filet about 14″ long and well better than an inch thick at the thick end. going to the middle The beer batter was thin and very crispy, so it was mostly fish. I have never seen a filet that size… ever. It was a 16 oz. +/- piece of fish!

    Delicious! Most places are all batter and no fish. Not this one.

    So we asked our server about the full order and he said the rest of the fish came out on a separate plate because it wouldn’t all fit on one platter. The half order was on a large oval platter about 18″ long and 8″ wide. I have no idea if a full order is two or three pieces of fish. I should have asked.

    So, until we get back home, I suspect all I’ll have to post is “Fish Fry Friday” and the regulars will know what was on the menu.

    Here’s a link, but their own image doesn’t even begin to convey how huge their piece of fish is.

    https://www.glorydaysgrill.com/food/menu/fabulous-fish-fry/#

  25. billinoz says:

    As EM has not posted about Australia recently, here is a little something for folks entertainment :
    Dominic Moss
    ·
    AUSTRALIA AND AUSTRALIANS
    The following was written by the late Douglas Adams of “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” fame.
    “Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the bottom half of the planet. It is recognisable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enormous bite taken out of its southern edge; a wall of sheer cliffs which plunge into the girting sea.
    Geologists assure us that this is simply an accident of geomorphology, but they still call it the “Great Australian Bight”, proving that not only are they covering up a more frightening theory but they can’t spell either.
    The first of the confusing things about Australia is the status of the place. Where other landmasses and sovereign lands are classified as continent, island or country, Australia is considered all three.
    Typically, it is unique in this.
    The second confusing thing about Australia is the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep. It is true that of the 10 most poisonous arachnids on the planet, Australia has 9 of them. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that of the 9 most poisonous arachnids, Australia has all of them.
    Any visitors should be careful to check inside boots (before putting them on), under toilet seats (before sitting down) and generally everywhere else.
    A stick is very useful for this task.
    The last confusing thing about Australia is the inhabitants.
    A short history: Sometime around 40,000 years ago some people arrived in boats from the north. They ate all the available food, and a lot of them died.
    The ones who survived learned respect for the balance of nature, man’s proper place in the scheme of things, and spiders. They settled in and spent a lot of the intervening time making up strange stories. They also discovered a stick that kept coming back.
    Then, around 200 years ago, Europeans arrived in boats from the north.
    More accurately, European convicts were sent, with a few deranged people in charge. They tried to plant their crops in autumn (failing to take account of the reversal of the seasons), ate all their food, and a lot of them died.
    About then the sheep arrived, and have been treasured ever since. It is interesting to note here that the Europeans always consider themselves vastly superior to any other race they encounter, since they can lie, cheat, steal and litigate (marks of a civilised culture they say), whereas all the Aboriginals can do is happily survive being left in the middle of a vast red-hot desert – equipped with a stick.
    Eventually, the new lot of people stopped being Europeans on ‘extended holiday’ and became Australians. The changes are subtle, but deep, caused by the mind-stretching expanses of nothingness and eerie quiet, where a person can sit perfectly still and look deep inside themselves to the core of their essence, their reasons for being, and the necessity of checking inside their boots every morning for fatal surprises. They also picked up the most finely tuned sense of irony in the world, and the Aboriginal gift for making up stories. Be warned.
    There is also the matter of the beaches. Australian beaches are simply the nicest and best in the world, although anyone actually venturing into the sea will have to contend with sharks, stinging jellyfish, stonefish (a fish which sits on the bottom of the sea, pretends to be a rock and has venomous barbs sticking out of its back that will kill just from the pain) and surfboarders. However, watching
    a beach sunset is worth the risk.
    As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst and wombats, you would expect Australians to be a sour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly, cheerful and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger. Faced with insurmountable odds and impossible problems, they smile disarmingly and look for a stick. Major engineering feats have been performed with sheets of corrugated iron, string and mud.
    Alone of all the races on earth, they seem to be free from the ‘Grass is greener on the other side of the fence’ syndrome, and roundly proclaim that Australia is, in fact, the other side of that fence. They call the land “Oz” or “Godzone” (a verbal contraction of “God’s Own Country”). The irritating thing about this is… they may be right.
    TIPS TO SURVIVING AUSTRALIA
    Don’t ever put your hand down a hole for any reason – WHATSOEVER.
    The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you think it is.
    Always carry a stick.
    Air-conditioning is imperative.
    Do not attempt to use Australian slang unless you are a trained linguist and extremely good in a fist fight.
    Wear thick socks.
    Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are people nearby.
    If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at all times, or you will die. And don’t forget a stick.
    Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore.
    HOW TO IDENTIFY AUSTRALIANS
    They pronounce Melbourne as “Mel-bin”.
    They think it makes perfect sense to decorate highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
    They think “Woolloomooloo” is a perfectly reasonable name for a place, that “Wagga Wagga” can be abbreviated to “Wagga”, but “Woy Woy” can’t be called “Woy”.
    Their hamburgers will contain beetroot. Apparently it’s a must-have.
    How else do you get a stain on your shirt?
    They don’t think it’s summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.
    They believe that all train timetables are works of fiction.
    And they all carry a stick.. 😊 🇦🇺

    PS : BOM here is still warning us urgently about ‘global warming’. Summer started on December first and it’s now January 10th. Meanwhile we in South Australia just had our FIRST hot day of Summer with 37degrees. Mild days of about 23 degrees with gusty southerly winds have made this summer a piss poor event. No swimming at the beach at all. And so we South Aussies are learniing to ignore the BOMsh!t….

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